These are resources we’ve found useful in our own kink life
The books, tools, and references that have helped us think more clearly, communicate better, or explore new ideas.
This isn’t meant to be a complete list. It’s a growing collection of things we’ve actually used and found valuable.
Some of the links here are affiliate links, which means we may earn a small commission if you buy through them. It doesn’t cost you anything extra, and we only share resources we genuinely use or value.
Whenever possible, we also encourage supporting local bookstores and independent makers.
Getting Started
Playing Well With Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities by Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams
The Submissive Guide by Luna (the articles and resources on this site and created by Luna Carruthers are priceless for those interested in D/s lifestyle)
Communication and Relationships
Pagan Polyamory: Becoming a Tribe of Hearts by Raven Kaldera (We think this is useful even if you’re not pagan as it has a lot of information about communication in a multi-partner dynamic.)
2BeBetter – a podcast and site that specializes in relationship advice specific to couples. While the hosts tend to focus on a consensual kink trad dynamic between het partners, they have given advice to queer partners and other kink relationships in the past. This is a great place to look for info on communications dynamics outside of kink.
Practical Skills
Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macramé by Lee Harrington
Community and Culture
Reading and Inspiration
The Sex Wizards Series by Alethea Faust (An epic fantasy magic system based on kink, kink that is well written, stories based on consent and queer sexuality. Love this series)